It's hard to be green sometimes...

I love to make my home look better and put in nice upgrades and when I do, I want to do so in a way that's the most ecologically friendly. I have been considering putting in wood/laminate floors on the first floor of my house. We currently have vinyl tile and cheapish carpet, basically what the builder supplied without me paying an arm and a leg for his upgrades.

So I think laminate cause it's cheap, but then I discover bamboo flooring at the local Lowes at a cost a "little" above the cost of laminate. I think GREAT this is sustainable and has a better warranty or same warranty as laminate and looks great. Oh but then I find out the cost for installation of the "wood" floor is $3.80 per square foot vs $1.99 per square foot for laminate. DOUBLE!

*sigh* I have 1520 square feet on the first floor. That's almost another $3,000! That makes bamboo way out of my budget now. I think maybe put the idea for a better floor on hold for now trying to assess if I really "must" do the floor or not.

So my thoughts turn to countertops now. I have laminate like most standard counters are. I think I'd like something more attractive more importantly heat resistant. Granite is the standard but not sustainable. I can get decent granite from $50-$85 per square foot.

Then I think recycled glass countertops would be awesome, right? They certainly are sustainable with anywhere from 80%-95% being made with recycled materials. So follow me on this thinking.. garbage like used glass bottles must be able to be purchased dirt cheap. I mean it's garbage or on it's way to being such. In its most expensive form it's GOT to be cheaper to acquire than imported ganite or marble. Certainly it's sold by the ton or acquired for a small shipping fee from a recycling plant, yes?

So then WHY does this beautiful sustainable product cost between $110-$160 per suare foot. That's $25-$75 more per square foot. It's easier to obtain, and by their own admission, these companies admit there is very little gas used for transpotation of the product to the manufacturer. Their cost is lower to begin with. Installation of the product is identical to other countertop materials. So, what's up with that.

I'll tell you. Many of the dealers for these items are in suburbs with higher incomes. It's very "fashionable" to be green among those with money. I'd like it to be more than fashionable. I'd like being green to be "the standard" by which ALL home improvement products are compared.

Why can't something that really does cost less to produce, be really affordable to the public to encourage those of us who want to do the right thing, to buy recycled products and forego the expnsive harmful products? You would think that people, if given the choice to choose green at a similar price, would choose green products over the others. I certainly would.

However I have decided for today to go with the greenest solution of all for both my floors and countertops. I'm not changing anything. That's right. The greenest thing I can do right now is NOTHING. My counters and floors are functional and NOT in disrepair. They don't "need" to be replaced; I just wanted something nice or better. What I have has already impacted the environment and I can't fix that by replacing it. What I can do is use the hell out of it until it requires replacing and THEN choose green products. Maybe by then those products will be more affordable.

School?

Over the last few days after realizing that the probability of me getting the kind of job I want and the kind of pay I need is low, I thought perhaps going back to school might be the answer. It might not. I am currently exploring education to get certified in a few different fields all the way through to a master's in some things and a PhD in another. Of course financial aid for the older student is unlikely, but there has to be a way to do something like this right? There has to be a way to transform your life for the better right?

How do people start over in mid life? Do they know other people who pave the road? Are they somehow just more astute and know what needs to be done? How should I choose my next career? What if I choose poorly? Choices. That's what life is all about isn't it?

So I'm unemployed again...

After 18 months of no job I finally get one for which I am overqualified and underpaid, but HEY it's money and boy did I need it. It's not like the job market is really hot for me right now. I was happy to have this job.

Now I don't even have that anymore. I could tell it was coming. I said several times to family around me, "They don't need me." They wanted to fire one woman and replace her with me but they were trying to keep her to train me on her job before letting her go.. sounds worse than it is. She knows she needs to go. They are afraid of having to pay unemployment for her. So I was let go before the legal unemployment time line kicked in. Nice huh? So I won't even get that 'cause I exhausted my old claim already.

So now it's time to think about what I can sell. My house? My car? I certainly don't need a car since I'm not going anywhwere and gas is ridiculous. Perhaps I can sell my old nice clothes and my old nice jewelry on Ebay? Would it make a financial contribution big enough to be worth it? Myself? Unfortunately I'm past my "purchase by" date. Maybe I'll sell off some of my newer furniture. I won't get near what I paid for it but It will be money, right?

Just when I thought we were getting a handle on finances and cash flow this happens. Now what? What will I have to cut out in addition to selling things? Maybe no cell phone. They are a nuisance anyway. Cable/internet? Well I'm going to need that since I'm sitting on my butt watching TV while looking for a job. That has to stay. What other luxuries? Heat? Nope, winter is coming. Electricity? Nope, need that. Water/garbage pick up? Hmm that could get nasty without it, so it's staying too. Food? Ah yes there is one place I can cut back personally.

Dog food? Yes I can give my dog regular dog food and take him off his special vet food which helps with his issues. Poor thing has allergies and chews his paws, but can I ethically make him suffer for my loss of a job? The dog is doing his job, right? He should still be paid. Keep ridiculously expensive dog food. Check.

At least I can have the surgery I need on my hernia now without it interferring with work. Of course I will need a 4 week recovery period too so I wouldn't be able to go look for a job during that time either. Surgery. There's a happy thought.

I'd take up drinking or drugs right now but I can't afford it.

Tuesday ramblings..distant loved ones

Tomorrow, assuming all goes well and fate is not a crueler @#*& to me than she has already been, I get to see my husband for the first time in 2.5 weeks. He's been away for work in Connecticut and we both don't like it. He's been packed for 2 days. I guess that means he misses me or his own pillow. Maybe the pillow more.

Anyway, I keep thinking how much the 2.5 week absence has seemed like years. OK so I exaggerate but it does seem like a long time and much too long for my taste.

Hundreds of years ago women had to endure months and perhaps years of missing husbands who went off to war, or even away from town or overseas for business. I guess since marriages were based on convenience and needs for enhancing one's standing in society, loving your spouse wasn't an issue and the absence of a spouse often a blessing.

Back to my point. I thought a lot about families whose husbands and sons and fathers are overseas at war. I personally am completely against this war and think it's been one of our biggest blunders. But that doesn't matter.


What does matter is all the children who have lost fathers; all the husbands and wives who have lost spouses and all the parents who have lost children. People will say that those who are serving made the choice and knew the risk they were taking by serving in the armed forces. Maybe some did. I bet many of the younger ones were looking for a way to pay for college or to support their young family. I suspect they never really expected to be sent to war. Certainly some of the people away at war wanted to be there and are in their element.

I guess I'm just glad that I personally am not dealing with a husband at war. I suppose one day my son could be sent to war, or perhaps the government could try to send him to war. I guess I'll be blogging from prison or Canada, or somewhere else. if that happens.

BLACK IS BACK!!

Need I say more? OMG! Maybe we need a blackout EVERY game.

Did I really witness this?

I was at a deli/sub place tonight eating soup and my sub for dinner. Remember all my fine food choices and you'll know why I was there. Anyway, while I was eating another person came in with her sons and ordered dinner and was about to pay for it. I was sitting nearby and overheard her conversation with the cashier. Apparently her debit card wasn't working.

**** NEWS FLASH **** It was NOT a debit card but her regular ATM card. The poor guy had to explain why her card would not work. She then went one driveway over to the Walgreen's ATM and came back with cash.

So now I'm left to wonder. Who, by now, doesn't know that ATM cards and debit cards are completely different animals? Was this woman, who appeared to be 35, at most, seriously not exposed to this kind of payment device ever in her life? Was it simply stupidity on her part? Would someone in a large city like Chicago EVER have this kind of conversation?

I left there tonight wondering if she represents the "typical" Jolietan. I hope not.

PS If any Jolietans read this blog, please tell me if I'm missing something here.

Time Life Music Infomercials...

sigh* My package finally arrived today. About 2 months ago, during one of my sleepless nights, my regular tv programming ended and "paid programming" was just about to start. I was making some smart ass comment to my niece about how she had come downstairs just in time to watch garbage with me.

So..... we started watching the infomercial, fully intending to make fun of it. I must be getting old - shut up out there already! Time Life was shilling their rock ballad CD's. A few minutes into the spiel, I realized I really really REALLY wanted these CD's. Really!

After spending several minutes on line at the Time Life website where I looked through the song titles on all the CD's, I went from really wanting these CD's to believing I NEEDED these CD's.

Do I really need to say the rest? Yes, I ordered them. Now, what floored me was that these CD's were out of stock and took 6 weeks to get to me. So I'm left to wonder if they ever were in stock, or, if the informercial was there to entice people to order and if enough of us did not order then the CD's would have conveniently never come into stock.

I don't know. I'm just suspicious like that.

And, since my car has a 6 CD player, you can bet I will have 6 of them loaded up to play at random. I can just imagine having all that cool music in my 20 hour car trips to Texas. Even better if I were ever to drive cross country to some place like, oh, Portland, (yes that's a comma) Oregon, they will be my companions on that trip too.